Dear friends and family, greetings guys and dolls, salutations ghosts and ghouls,

Here’s to meadowlarks and lovers.
Lets’ set sail for somewhere special.

Lets’s stay up late
with the people
whom free our dreams
and fill our sails.

Life’s been pretty great for a while. But it went stale. My grandmother had a stroke. I have cried so much lately. I can’t stop sleeping either. What does one do when responsibilities touch down in a land of Godless ruins?

You see, I have hardly succeeded in Maths lately. I am not overtly challenged by the content; instead, I am growing up and hip to the fact that I feel pure quantities are all substance and no heart.

Numbers feel like bold black cryptograms of fleeting meaning. Where is the inherent pursuit of cosmic life in numbers? There isn’t… At least not really. It is assumed as associative and commutative. And, it saddens me.

I’ve been a student of Literature, which made me more thoughtful and community-oriented. Didn’t go to well to be honest. Something about excavating the throe and woahs of history ships me into maelstroms.

But, something is missing. Something deeply buried in my past…

Here I resonate, panicking at the juncture of academia and my twenty-three-years-old mind, I’m seriously considering calling my math-e-mu-cation quits and transferring into astrophysics. My love of empiricism and rigorous science.
I am no longer convinced anything bequeathes me bliss, or tranquility. The prior mentioned subjects are beautiful, yes. But I am slowly learning they are not my jam.

Truth is, I took part in a creative non-fiction seminar with aspiring scientists last year. If I make the transition, I want to design medicinal music production frequencies. And, broadcast them into the chaotic unknown.

However, I fear I do not find beauty in the breadth and depth of my very being when I study them. Stars are born with the wink of an eye and they disappear in the blink of an eye. I want to record it all–the destinations uncharted of civilizations past.

Who knows what we can discover? Who knows the beauty that lies in the depths of hidden Hubble realities? Maybe we go on to bio-medically engineer stars together? Either way… Either way, I have never been happier than when I was delighted the opportunity to talk physics with the Fam.

Hope you are all s’well and staying well.

All loom no gloom,

Sean

P.S. I think Giggly-Dads come from Colorado. Not necessarily. But also, they do sometimes, ya know.

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Letter to Followers

So, I start school at the University of Alabama tomorrow…

Truth is, I want to become a mathematician.  And since I love science, my minor is Physics.  To me, there’s something about the way time ticks.  With immeasurable longevity, Time, as well as space, are the arbiters of all phenomenon.  Perpetually pondering feelings, histories, and futures, I enjoy spiritedly daydreaming about the unconscious mind and the perplexing complexity of psychological phenomenons.  You see, to me, any given psychic event can be counted.  It’s impact on the surrounding world can be labelled.  And finally–by following this line of rational–numbers can be used to find meaningful ways of organizing entire societies and industries into being optimizable, profitable, or meaningful.  This being acknowledged, I write poetry on the side because I find it to be a wonderful, therapeutic medium.

Recently, it occurred to me that not many things in this world are constant.  Practicing mathematicians help keep uncertainty in check.  Although I am still early in my undergraduate days, I know that equations hold great truth on how to not waste one’s Time.  You may be wondering why I am so obsessed with time…  Well, I think time is money just like tons of older people.  An economy is something that needs to be stimulated in order to preserve the present technology for future generations, and also, to keep the world at ease.

So much miscalculated passion exists in the world, driving entire nations further into debt.  So many just assume that necessity fosters innovation.  But sometimes along the way it seems to be forgotten that highly trained professionals are needed to sustain so many products.  The scary part is, most resources are finite and the Earth’s resources are being depleted more rapidly than ever before.  No doubt, the world will be very different from now.  Yet, to make the world lush with opportunity is on us as a people.  We need jobs of all types.  Furthermore, the world needs jobs that have not even been thought of yet.  With all of this chaos looming around the corner, the world needs brilliant fact checkers to align humanity’s zeal with the ways of righteous wonder.

For sure, this is why I am going into Mathematics.  I want to be that fact checker that helps keeps us all safe.  What is the present worth if it is not the platform of thousands of years from now?

In closing, I often wonder of what I will become of me when I die, but lately, I am too busy vivaciously being on top of my shit to even worry about it.  With the ability to wonder comes the ability to fall into lusterless thoughts.  As of today, I am done wasting my time with fruitlessness.  If you are a child or parent, may the ways of the world treat you kindly and may you educate yourself however you can.  Whether it be a book, a class, or a converation, living is learning.  And, I believe in the power within all of our hearts to continue making Life on Earth exceptional.

May we all go on to have a great rest of August.

Quite sincerely,
Sean M. Smith

Happy Saturday

Curiously enough, the waves of suicidal feelings and the consequent nights and drugs sprees that I should not have survived later transformed into my main reason for smiling in the morning.  So next time you feel like all is lost, just remember, every moment of depression could be the making of sweet, sweet transcendence down the road.  Don’t give up.

Love: To Be Continued

Get lost with me?  I want to feel so smart and beautiful I turn into an alien because we might as well be aliens.  I’ve grown tired of laws and morals being the basis of conversation.  I want the kind of love that makes me forget all of it.  I want beatitude filling my veins.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.