As your emerald ocean eyes
Wait for another pacific sunset surprise,
All is bluish-green, white-capped calm.
Wishes upon dandelions
From forever ago still came true.
Depressively aloof from all things not truth,
Brood like a hedonist around folks
that neither bop nor jive.
I will strive for greatness for as long as I live!
One man sits on a bench.
Not a soul is around.
The riverside sunset
acquiesces into twilight.
The waning crescent moon is a lantern.
Then, come the stars.
Red leaves seem to be spread
against the blue-violet night sky.
Winter’s crisp coldness
seems to frost the sky.
There is a disturbing lack of snow.
I always thought I would age like a fine wine. Instead, I just drank tons of wine for almost a decade. I woke up this morning, twenty-two and nowhere. I never realized that sitting around and making wishes doesn’t make a life. It makes for time passing mockingly and a lonely life.
Sometimes, you meet someone. And, you feel like you’ve known them forever. They same the same thing. Then, a month later, they take it all back. I guess drunken sweet nothings are sometimes just that super sweet but quite nothing. It doesn’t how much I believed in them. They were happiness, an infatuation, that decayed into something less. This is my morning. I will try not to think about it at work today. Not because I am heartbroken. Not because I hope sweet nothings will become my everything. But because I bought the ticket and haven’t taken the ride. And, she is so neat, sometimes, I forget she isn’t all I have in this city. So I will walk around remembering for the next time.
I smoke cigarettes constantly
And drink wild amounts on unreasonable nights.
Struggling to stay reasonable and rational,
Irrationally dreaming of my dead friends who number five now,
I am that unreasonable bachelor, bored and apathetic,
Bounding and dancing to and from existential crises.
I have traversed treachery and ecstasy.
I have writhed and wept and loved many times.
My ascent of the mountain of madness left me tired.
How can the universe still be so remarkable?
How can a bleary-eyed comprehension of existence
Be anything other than utterly exhausting/
The worst times of my life are so arcane.
The universe’s unfolding seems so unrighteous but unshakable.
Perpetually wetting my cheeks with innocence tears for all life,
I see blotches of colors and madness everywhere. I don’t feel poorly about it.
What do you care if I daydream multi-colored sunflowers smooching while playing violas on celestial beaches?
You shouldn’t because I don’t mind. In fact, I love my nature.
I love every moment of this imperfect, bluish green, serene eternity.
My head was in my hands because I ruthlessly pursued a friendship and a dream. I guess my intensity and fussiness bothers people. But I cannot stop. I cannot slow down. And, quite frankly, I do not want to. I vowed to pursue my dreams. And, the clock is ticking. I will be impatient. I will get drunk. I will fuck. I will cry. Wherever and whenever I want. I will truly live out my passions even if it leaves me exhausted and ruined. I will not feel the need to apologize. I am nauseated at how long I felt ashamed of how I act, of my past, of Earth’s history, of my Nature.
I refuse to wait for accomplishment. All is epic, all is well. I vow to be my biggest fan. Not my family. Not my future ladies. Not my best friends. Me! I will never peruse reality for a better me. I am beautiful. I am entirely incredible. I am perfect.
Get lost with me? I want to feel so smart and beautiful I turn into an alien because we might as well be aliens. I’ve grown tired of laws and morals being the basis of conversation. I want the kind of love that makes me forget all of it. I want beatitude filling my veins. Nothing more. Nothing less.